Grandchildren! Now!
by Rumbling Night Cutter
Summary: Stoick knows the future. How is he gonna deal with his biggest worry? One-Shot humor.


**A tribute to my insanity. Too funny in my head not to type. Stoick is at the forefront of Hiccstrod shippers, as said when he yelled "that's my future daughter in law!" **

**No star crossed loving for Hiccup and Astrid eh? **

**This is based on a picture I found that was top funny not to make it into a fanfic version.**

**Shortest fanfic I've ever written, but I had a good laugh making it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

Stoick was in shock. An odd man with a darkly colored Stormcutter had shown him the future, taking him into a strange room with moving pictures and giving him a very delicious snack to eat called "Popcorn."

He would die, by his son's dragon's hand-er, paw. Um, fire?

Agh, he's a viking, not a grammar expert!

But the worst part:

HE HAD NO GRANDCHILDREN WHEN HE DIED!

Ohhhhhhhh no. That would not do!

"What in heck is that boy waiting for!?" He hollered during the itchy armpit scene, with Astrid practically on Hiccup's lap. Five years ago, he would have keeled over and died of shock, but now he just got a migraine at the boy's stupidity.

"PROPOSE!" He had yelled at Hiccup, enormous arms flailing and popcorn flying.

Throughout all the Hiccstridish scenes, he was yelling at him to propose.

He only had a few hours left until the memory of that place was erased.

"She kissed his cheek, called him Babe, willingly surrendered when he said so, and seemed very pleased when he kissed her! What more does he want before he had the guts to Viking up and propose! I want a daughter before I die! And I want to see Hiccup's kids!" He said, pacing the great hall.

He looked outside, and saw them sitting on a roof, sitting right next to each otherwhile Astrid braided Hiccup's hair.

"AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" He yelled.

"Even as the Pride of Berk, assured to be the future cheif, the boy is an IDIOT!" He ranted to Skullcrusher, who just boredly chewed his crab.

The brutish dragon watched his equally brutish rider go back and forth.

"And that, that Eret boy, he might take her away from Hiccup, leaving him with, with RUFFNUT! I DONT WAT TO HAVE NUT GRANDBABIES!"

Skullcrusher just kept chewing, idly wondering what Grump was doing.

The aging cheif rubbed his head.

"Ok, ok, ok," he said, and hauled himself into Skullcrusher's saddle. "Maybe some fresh air will help me clear my head."

As they took off, Hiccup and Astrid began to kiss.

They broke off when they heard Stoick's aggravated yelled echoing through the clouds.

* * *

><p>"Ok," Stoick sat down. On his right was Skullcrusher, and on his left, Thornado.<p>

Bing crawled over the senior thunderdrum, while Bang played on the rumblehorn's head.

Boom laid in Stoick's lap, the large man petting him like a cat.

"I need a way to, well, nudge them into marriage. I could ruin the whole thing if I force them. So," he looked at all the dragons present. "What do you think?"

He was met with his thunderdrums' big yellow eyes giving him blank looks.

Stoick stood up, holding Boom by the tail.

"I've got to be subtle!" He swung his fist, flailing the young Thunderdrum around.

"I can't give away what I'm trying to do!" He threw his fists up, sending Boom into an upward arch.

Then he put his fist under his chin to think, leaving a dizzy thunderdrum hanging on his belly.

"I'VE GOT IT!" He roared, throwing his arms to the side and flinging Boom away.

* * *

><p>Hiccup got up, the sun shining through his windows. He strapped on his leg, threw on his Flight Suit and woke Toothless.<p>

He could hear Terrible Terrors singing on the rooftop outside, and smelled breakfast waiting downstairs.

"Seems like all is right with the world, eh Bud." He rubbed his loyal Night Fury on the head. "No Alvin, or Dagur, or Screaming Deaths, or Red Deaths, or rouge dragons trying to rip us to pieces and roast us for dinner."

Toothless made a sound of acreement as Hiccup finished with the flight suit, grabbing the helmet and slinging it under an arm.

Taking a moment to rebalance himself on the prosthetic, he soon climbed the stairs down to breakfast.

Stoick was there, poking at the fire, breakfast on a plate in his hand.

When he saw his son, he straightened.

"Son, we need to talk'" he said, coming closer.

"What is it, Dad?" He moaned. "I have a test flight with Toothless soon, and the dragon race-"

"Can wait. This is a serious matter son."

Stoick took a deep breath. "Son, your the pride of Berk, and I couldn't be prouder,"

Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"_But,"_ Stoick said suddenly, getting his son's attention. "I won't be around forever, and I want to see what the next generation will look like, so,"

He planted his hands on Hiccup's shoulder, and gave Hiccup a deadly serious look.

His next words made the young Haddock to white as a sheet and faint. The same with Astrid, who had opened the door to visit her boyfriend and the Chief to find him in this oh-so critical time.

The words that caused them both to hit the floor, and avoid Stocik for days afterwards, were as follows:

"Grandchildren! Now!"


End file.
